The Pain of Rejection

“When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.”  Psalm 27:10

The other day something happened to me and I said out my mouth how angry I was about this situation.  But the next thing that came out of my mouth as tears were running down my face was, “I feel rejected”.  Rejection can cause us all to lose our strength and crumble under the audacity of it.  It feels like one of the worst blows.  Especially when it comes from someone you love dearly.  And to be honest, as much as I knew it was wrong, I wanted to camp right there in my rejection.

Are you struggling with rejection from a parent, a spouse, a brother, a sister…

Rejection is hard.  It hurts in many ways worse than physical pain.  All you can ask yourself is, why?  Why would this person do this to me?  They are supposed to love me unconditionally.  

The fear of rejection can lead us to isolation.  We innately protect ourselves and if we’ve experienced rejection at any level this inevitably causes us to pull back.  Although this is a natural response, I would like to share with you what God’s Spirit poured out on me the next few days after this painful blow from a loved one.

Jesus was rejected.  We know this.  He was rejected and despised.  When the devil tempted him in the wilderness for those forty days, He kept His focus on the will of His Heavenly Father alone.  When His own people despised and rejected Him, He kept on for the cause He was here for.  He became a sacrifice for the very ones who rejected Him.  

Obviously, the world we live in right down to our parents is full of sinners.  And as much as rejection hurts it doesn’t change the fact that it is the truth.  The Word tells us, “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”  (Romans 3:23).  Okay, so we know this.  But still, it doesn’t take away the pain. 

Stay with me, I’m getting to the help and healing we all need…

So, I was basking in my self-pity, and lo and behold God’s Spirit provided exactly what I needed.  

As for us, we have all of these great witnesses who encircle us like clouds.  So we must let go of every wound that has pierced us and the sin we so easily fall into.  Then we will be able to run life’s marathon race with passion and determination, for the path has been already marked out before us.”  Hebrews 12:1, TPT

The Passion Translation has become my go-to lately when I’m studying a Scripture.  It seems to pull it all together for me sometimes.  As a matter of fact the other morning I was reading a verse to my girls over breakfast from the King James and our five-year-old looked at me and said, “could you read that in another translation so I can understand it better”.  Training our children happens all the time.  It is up to us as adults to instigate and entice them with the passion for God.  She wanted to understand and so asked for something more clear.

So, moving right along…we must let go of every wound that has pierced us…EVERY WOUND.  Wow!  That made me take a step back.  Each wound of rejection falls into this category.  And I must be willing and choose to let go of it and carry on with life’s marathon.  The passion and determination that is within me because of The Lord Jesus Christ will be squelched if I choose not to let go of these hurts.

a hole dug by the wound of rejection

 And let’s be honest here, if I do not let go of these feelings of rejection the hole I dig for myself in self-pity keeps getting deeper and deeper.  Then this sin which I easily fall into is right before me, overtaking me.  Just think how far off The Lord’s path we get by allowing these hurts to overtake our every thought in life.  Rejection has been studied by many Godly men and women, like this one for instance.   It is felt to be a root cause of many physical diseases. I encourage you to read this article.

The enemy works hard at distracting us from God’s love.  Rejection is an arrow he uses often in many of us within marriages, families and in the body of Christ.  But, we must rise up and take dominion over these hurts.  Rejection is serious business.  Do we want to hang on to the hurt someone else has caused us which alters God’s ultimate best plan for us?  This question is a no-brainer.  And even though I am focusing on rejection here, we could put in this verse any sin which we are allowing to wound us.  

“For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the Lord shall reward thee…”  Proverbs 25:22

 This is a familiar proverb that many of us know well.  I think it is a good example to be used in the case of rejection.   Obviously, the Lord knew we would face times like this or He wouldn’t have put this verse in the Bible.  Forgiveness is who He Is and He expects us to be as equally forgiving.  

Let’s look at the last part of this verse to find His ultimate answer for healing from rejection…

then the Lord will take me up…

The Lord will take me up.  The Passion Translation says, “and God will reward you with favor.”  Wow!  To have The Lord’s favor.  Isn’t that a place we all want to camp?  I know I do.  This is the ultimate peace that will bring healing to my heart.  Naturally, my feelings are hurt and I will deal with some pain and tears, but it is my right-standing with The Lord that will carry me through.

It’s very easy to allow the enemy to come in and use the fear of rejection in our lives.  However, we must keep in mind who we are in Christ and the promises He has for each of us.  Staying in His word and in constant communication with Him is the key.  Remember, keeping our confidence in Him and the path He has set before us will cause us to run with passion and determination.   And an added blessing to that is, He will reward you with His favor.  He loves you with a pure love and will never reject you!

I pray this topic has been as enlightening to you as much as it has me.  If you’ve landed here looking for help in dealing with rejection, I hope you are leaving peaceful after hearing God’s Word on the subject.  May we walk in the wisdom of His word daily and let go of every wound that has pierced us.  

God, I pray you would bring healing to those of us who have been rejected by someone we love.  We recognize and confess You as our great physician, in physical healing as well as emotional healing.  Send Your Spirit to minister to those places where we need healing.  May our eyes be opened to the truth of Your word alone.  Guide us in Your true forgiveness and help us to reap coals of fire upon the heads of those who have wounded our hearts.  For it is here that our true reward will come.  All glory and honor to You Lord.  In Jesus’ Name, we pray.  Amen.



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